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I still love you. (part 2)
The next few days were spent with dates, texting each other up to 2 or 3am, and talking about stuff that we relate to. I learned that she studies photography in UP diliman, she used to study at UST college of engineering, shame that we didn’t meet when I studied at UST. She likes hello kitty (her room is full of it). Dancing (she joined the AMA Dance Troupe). Photography. etc etc. One faithful day, we went to Circle C to check out some Hello Kitty stuff and at that time, there was a guy who was kind of hitting on her and I got jealous so I asked her:
Pao: Sino si ****?
Rain: Friend ko lang, tsaka classmate ko sa ____.
P: Eh bakit parang kayo na ata? yikeeee (sarcastically)
R: wala, Friend ko lang talaga siya, promise.
*moments pass by*
P: Can I…. Hold your hand?
R: bakit?
P: so I could make you feel I care for you.
R: *smiles* okay.
We basically walked around for hours and I just spent my entire time smiling while looking at our hands clenched. Her hand was warm, then my palm really got sweaty so I let go to dry my hand with my handkerchief. She said, “Why did you let go?” I said, “I’m ashamed of my sweaty hands.” she grabbed my hand and said, “I don’t mind” with a smile. She made my heart melt for the first time.
A week passed and I was really impatient, I had to make her mine. I decided to pull out all the stops and risk it. Break the question.
Pao: kelan mo ako sasagutin?
Rain: Ha? eh wala pa ngang isang month tapos sasagutin na kita agad?
P: gusto ko na maging tayo. (yes, I was THAT impatient)
R: Ako din, pero gusto ko lang makita ng ate ko na sincere ka sakin, by visiting me for about a month or two. Di ka ba makakapag hintay ng konti?
P: NO. *insert meme face here*
R: *sigh* okay, bigyan mo ako ng konting time for that.
P: :(
I didn’t sleep well that night, my jealousy was getting too much for me. I wanted to kill her friend who was secretly making a move on her. She doesn’t notice it but I know it all too well. I’m a guy, I’m supposed to know how it goes. The whole night went through with me just imagining all the possible ways I could torture the guy. i ended up sleeping at 3am.
The next day, we went on a date in SM, turns out she was thinking about the decision she was going to make.
Pao: ano na? :D
Rain: *becomes quiet*
P: o______o
R: wag ka magulo, nag-iisip pa ko.
P: *sighs an stares at people walking by*
*a few moments pass*
R: sige na nga.
P: ha? ano? (i was daydreaming)
R: oo na.
P: anung oo?
R: tayo na.
*moment of silence*
*basically, It took my mind a couple of seconds to register what has been happening. was this just a dream? stuff like that. Then I got back down to earth*
P: yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
September 25, 2009. Happiest day ever. I loved her even more.
Days passed by and were basically inseparable, I wouldn’t last a minute without her by my side, Our dates were always memorable. We didn’t care about PDA even in our school. I still remember our first kiss, we were at my living room, we were talking about some stuff then I just stared at her, she smiled and I leaned in for a kiss. When our lips touched, I knew she was the one for me. My future wife. The woman that I would be with forever until death do us part. She gave my life meaning. I knew that she was my soulmate.
October 25, 2009. Our first monthsary. I was at school and I didn’t see her anywhere, until I went to my org’s tambayan to text her. Suddenly, a friend of hers walked up to me handing me a gift with a letter “I” on it. “Pinapamigay ni rain to.” her friend said. I opened it. It was a little bag with a 25 sticker on it, the letter inside had a clue finding the next gift. Right then I knew this was a scavenger hunt and she was somewhere in the school watching me find the gifts. The clue was, “lil’ bro.” I knew JC had the gift so I searched for him. Good thing I had his number on my cellphone so I texted him. He said “I’m at class. come here and i’ll give it to you.” I went to his class and he gave the gift to me. It was a little cup with our picture on it and inside the cup was the letter “L” and a clue leading to next gift. Basically, I spent an hour finding all the gifts which was scattered all over the campus but I never found the last gift because a friend of her who has the gift didn’t go to school. So I went outside the school and rested in galaxy burger to read all the letters. They all spelled I L O V E Y O with the letter U missing (because her friend had it) then she surprised me saying “Happy 1st Monthsary!” and she was just hiding at the 2nd floor of the CB building with a camera in hand. I felt so happy when I saw her that time. I really loved her smile, we went to eat at Trinoma super bowl after that. Her gifts were: A red clock with a 25 design in it, a little cup with our picture, a can opener with our picture, a mini t-shirt with our pic (I made my stuffed bear wear that.), a stone with our pic, etc etc. *Rain, if you’re reading this right now, kindly message me on facebook on what other gifts you gave me, I’m having trouble remembering. thanks.*
Every relationship has ups and downs. We had break-ups here and there(about 4). It just goes to show that not every relationship is perfect. Life cannot be compared to Fairy tales because life just doesn’t work that way, It’s the same with romantic movies. I admit that some of our breakups were my fault.
The first one was, I was too addicted to online gaming. I started ignoring her texts and when she was with me in my house, I would play on my laptop while she would just lay in my bed urging me to come watch some TV with her. She broke up with me because she had enough, I was too addicted to online gaming and I never realized that she would cry when I ignored her. Suddenly I had a flashback, I remembered my ex, and how we broke up because of the same reason. I loved rain too much to let her go so I decided to delete that game from my laptop and got her back. She meant more to me than that stupid game.
I’m not going into details at what happened during the 2nd and 3rd breakup.
After the 3rd breakup, things changed. She changed. No more PDA’s, not even holding hands while we were walking, everytime I would ask her why she wouldn’t hold my hand, she would always reply that she was uncomfortable. I didn’t believe it. Our time texting went from 2am to 1am, to 12am, until we didn’t text often. We would only text each other to say goodnight. I realized, that it was going downhill from there.
*To be continued on part 3. It’s hard to remember the other parts since I haven’t eaten anything today. Just drank coffee and smoked cigarettes today. I think I’ll publish part 3 tomorrow when I have nothing to do at work. thanks for reading.*
I still love you. (part 1)
I remember the time when I first met her.
It was in April 2009, at AMA computer university. I was hanging out at galaxy burger, my usual hangout place with fellow S.O.N. org mates. I was alone that time, reflecting my thoughts on my education. I was too lazy to study at that time, I’ve always spent my time at galaxy burger just having a cigarette and chatting with my friends. Then I realized, “what am I doing with my life? I think it’s time to change. starting with my engl03 quiz later on”. Then I just noticed that I haven’t been taking notes and when I’m in class, My mind was back at home sleeping in my warm bed. I facepalmed and thought for a while on how I was gonna pass that test later. Then It happened.
I was deep in my thoughts when these two girls walked in the store then sat right next to me. I quickly knew the girl right beside me, she’s my classmate at ENGL03. I knew her because the last ENGL03 class she walked in wearing a “Filipiniana” and she was always being teased by my fellow classmates that our ‘special’ classmate likes her. Back then, I was courting another girl named ann. I asked her, “do you know that girl?” ann said, “Yeah, she’s rain.” I replied, “Rain? you mean like ulan?” She said, “yeah, why? you like her?” I said, “no, of course not.” Going back to when rain sat beside me, I asked her, “Rain! Do we have a quiz later in ENGL03?” her response was, “I’m sorry, do I know you?” in a british accent. I said, “Oh, sorry, I’m Paolo by the way, your classmate at ENGL03.” she said, “nice to meet you, and yes, we do have a quiz later on.” as she said that, she smiled. My brain was going nuts at that time thinking, “OMG that girl is DAMN CUTE” and “FUCK! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH THAT TEST?! FOCUS DUMBASS. STOP STARING AT HER even though she’s cute!” with that, she said “gotta go, see you later.” I just stared.
I was courting ann at that time, we usually don’t get along that much and most of the time we were fighting a lot about some little things. I get jealous easily, and ann is not really the type that I would date. I usually date simple girls, ones that I can be happy and fall in love with. Wife material. Ann wasn’t like that. Yeah, she’s gorgeous and very sexy, but she’s always followed by a group of salivating boys behind her. I hated competition. So I just decided to stop courting her. I like her, but we wouldn’t have a stable relationship.
A few days passed, as I lied in my bed, I kept thinking about Rain. How she smiled at me when I first met her. How we talk about some things and how she used to joke about it. I texted my friend JC (I call him lil’ bro) and said, “Hey, do you have rain’s phone number?” he replied, “yeah, I’m sending it to you now.” I said, “What? you’re not gonna ask why?” he said, “I already know your intentions. xD” I said, “not even gonna ask, thanks anyway”. With that, I received her number and quickly sent her a message saying, “Hi Rain! si pao to, classmate mo sa english 3. Musta ka na? :)”. *number 1 rule in courting: always reply with a smiley. They love smileys. don’t ask me why, they just do.* she didn’t reply. I went to sleep with a sad face. :(
The next night, I texted her again, she replied. This was our conversation.
Pao: HI! :D
Rain: Hi pao! sorry di kita na-replayan kagabi, wala akong load sa sun eh, text mo na lang ako sa globe ko *sends globe number*
P: OK! kamusta ka na? :)
*she didn’t reply for 10 mins.*
P: busy ka ba?
R: sorry pao, may katext akong iba eh.
*I was like D: that time.*
P: ah, sino katext mo? :D
R: friend ko, he’s entertaining me, telling me stories. :)
P: ah, tungkol saan?
*yeah, I was annoying that time. I was trying to divert her attention to me*
R: about sa mga ex niya, love stuff.
P: ahh…since friends naman tayo, would you mind me telling you mine? :)
R: sige ba! :)
*I don’t remember much after that, but she started replying with smileys after that. :D*
The next few days were spent with us talking about our english class. When finals came, I had trouble with my test. Due to severe lazyness, I didn’t attend our class before the exam. Our prof included something in the last part of the exam that he discussed about, and I didn’t attend. During the exam, I was blazing through the questions but when it was time to do the last part, I was screwed. I asked our proctor if she knew about this. she said, “Sir Arjan explained this to you before the exam, didn’t you attend his class?” I felt ashamed and went back to my seat. After a few minutes I decided to write down some random things at the last part and then handed in my exam, I stormed out of the room and waited for JC to finish. To my surprise, Rain came out after me and said, “ano nangyari sayo?” I replied, “Katamaran.” she said, “pumasok ka na kasi parati, haha, bawiin mo na lang!” I just smiled. Her words made me inspired. To start anew. Right then at that time I went home with a smile on my face.
When I lied in my bed at that time, I couldn’t stop thinking about this girl. I was falling in-love with her. Her smile, her laughs, her everything. I decided to confess to her and texted her with, “Rain, pwede ba ako manligaw?” she said, “sigurado ka ba sa mga sinasabi mo? lasing ka ba?” I said, “Hindi ako lasing, seryoso ako, gusto kita, alam ko sandali lang tayo naging magkaibigan pero parang mahal na kita. pwede ba ko manligaw?” she said, “sure ka talaga? mahirap ako makasama, sakitin ako, aalagaan mo ba ko?” I said, “Oo, promise ko.” she said, “Ok. :)”
I felt like kicking my door open and yell, “YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” But I realized that everyone was sleeping so I just went crazy in my bed, giggling like a schoolgirl. I asked her out and she accepted. I went even more crazy.
The next day, we met at trinoma starbucks and had coffee. I still remember what she wore that time, a shirt and a yellow skirt. She wasn’t cute anymore, she was beautiful to me. We met some of my friends in starbucks so I introduced her to them and we joined our tables so we could talk more. Then I saw my friends smoking. I really felt the urge to smoke at that time and I asked her If I could, She said ok. After a few minutes, she texted me “pao, ilayo mo naman sakin yung usok, hinihika ako.” I felt stupid, I remember that she told me that she has asthma. I apologized and urged my friends to finish their cigarettes. We left after a while. I don’t remember much about what happened after that. When I was walking home that night, she texted me, “please always take care….. for me.” When she said, “For me”, I felt like screaming at the next person to walk in front of me, but i didn’t want to make a scene, so I just giggled and hurriedly went home.
*To be continued at part 2*
